From the Crime Journal of Voivode

Interior artwork from DCeased: A Good Day to Die #1 (Sept. 2019). © and TM DC. Written by Tom Taylor. Art by Laura Braga.

From the Crime Journal of Voivode –  

Zombies.  Why’d it have to be zombies?   

Ghosts, werewolves, even vampires would’ve been better than zombies.  They’re just… gross.  I hate punching them – it makes that sound - like splotch! - and I seriously reconsider what I had for lunch every time I hear that. 

Jack, on the other hand, thinks it’s the best thing ever.  “Like a video game,” she says, “Only it’s real!” Yup, sure is.  So is getting all of that gross out of your crime-fighting gear.  I had to wash my uniform four times to get it to a point I could wear it again without… you know.  Ew. 

I tell myself that Batman has to fight gross villains too.  Like Clayface?  I think punching him would be worse than punching a zombie!  So, I do what must be done, gross or not. 

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Jack swears she talked to the Ghost of the Laughing Hound tonight.  Normally, I’d think she was full of it, but dude… it’s Kaznia.  Weird supernatural stuff is kind of our jam.  Anyway, Jack says the ghost told her that his old nemesis Monsieur Mort has risen from the grave once again, and he’s behind all those damn zombies.  I mean, that tracks… with a name like “Monsieur Mort” I suppose necromancy would be a thing.  Anyway, Jack says the ghost told her to check out that creepy old mausoleum. Guess that was his secret lair back in the day.  Yay. 

P.S. Batman fought a guy called Lord Death Man, so I don’t feel too bad about chasing a guy called “Monsieur Mort.”  Guess some villains aren’t that creative when it comes to picking names. 

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Looks like the ghost was right.  Jack and I found a boat-load of zombies down in the mausoleum.  Hooray, more gross!  And the guy in charge – can you guess?  Yup, Monsieur Mort.  For real.  That’s his name.  Jack and I got to hear our first villain monologue – and man, that dude likes the sound of his own voice!  He even name-dropped Darkseid in his speech, how the Anti-Life Equation was the key to undead immortality blah blah blah.  Jack got him to shut up when she beaned him with her… Jackarang.  Snerk.  I keep telling her that’s a dumb name, but she’s stubborn and refuses to call it something cool.   

Anyway, we stopped old Monsieur Mort and turned him over to the cops.  Weird thing – before they stuffed him in the cop car, Mort said he was just the beginning, and that far worse than him was coming to devour Kaznia.  Whatever, guy.  Enjoy jail. 

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Jack here.  Okay, first - “Jackarang” is not a dumb name, it’s awesome, and she’s just jealous.  Boom!  I said what I said. 

Next, she’s out on patrol after getting a tip about a bunch of evil wizards picking on people out on the streets. I, on the other hand, have homework and am… kinda grounded. Mom was not a fan of me coming home smelling like zombie after that whole Monsieur Mort thing.  So, I have a date with calculus and Dejana – sorry, Voivode – gets to punch wizards.  My life sucks. 

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They’re called secret identities for a reason, Jack.  Not my fault you told your mom about your crime fighting on night one.  And, by association, my crime fighting.  Good job, dude. 

P.S. Jackarang is still a dumb name. 

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Journal update, supplemental.  The evil wizards call themselves “Magents.”  They keep showing up at night, trying to kidnap people for evil rituals or something. They must be scared as hell of their boss, because none of them will give me a name.  I even tried dangling one from the edge of a rooftop, Batman-style, but I got nothin’.   Jack’s all excited about having a real supervillain to deal with, but I’m not cool with that.  Real supervillains kill noob heroes like us. 

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I don’t think the Magents are the ones turning people into dust piles.  I did the dangling thing again last night, and when I asked about the dust piles, he got all confused and said the killer was turning Magents into dust piles too!  Jack wanted to do a team-up with the Magents and try to find the killer together.  That got a laugh out of me and the dangling Magent.  Someone reads too many comic books – heroes and villains don’t mix, at least in Kaznia. 

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More people have gone missing.  This is getting out of hand. I’m tired of losing super-friends to… whatever this thing is that’s out there killing people.  Jack says we should talk to Trenchcoat Guy about it, do a team-up.  Maybe.  She’s not the only stubborn one – I wanna handle this case on my own.  Okay, with Jack, since we’re a team… duo… whatever.  We’re going to find whoever’s doing this, and we’re gonna stop them. 

To be continued in Light and Rain: Day of Reckoning!